


Pet Names

by Android_And_Ale



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Baby Otters!, Breaking the Prime Directive, Domestic, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Otters!, Sentient Otters?, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, glamping, harrisco
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-14
Updated: 2018-05-14
Packaged: 2019-05-07 01:30:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14660517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Android_And_Ale/pseuds/Android_And_Ale
Summary: Cisco Breaches himself and Harry to an unspoilt wilderness for a few days of well deserved glamping - but it turns out he has ulterior motives.





	Pet Names

“Dammit, Ramon. This will not end well.” Harry glared into Cisco’s backpack.

“Pfft. All’s Well that ends Wells?” Cisco winked.

The baby otter inside the backpack sleepily opened its eyes long enough to roll them. It was snuggled into a towel, furry brown arms wrapped around a Jesse Quick action figure.

“He’s a big boy who just wanted to go on his first adventure,” said Cisco. The baby otter yawned and stretched out a paw. Cisco high fived him.

“You’re the one who lectured me about the Prime Directive,” said Harry. “Otters are sentient on this Earth. You essentially kidnapped an alien baby.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” said Cisco. “He stowed away!”

Harry pulled the backpack open wider. In addition to the fluffy towel and action figure there was a tiny hammock so the otter could either perch at the top of the bag or hide deep inside if it was tired or scared, a plush fish skeleton with two X’s for eyes, and two empty cans of salmon that Harry knew he hadn’t packed before Cisco breached them here for a ‘Glamping Vacay.’

“He’s very clever,” said Cisco. “And remarkably well prepared.”

Harry sat at the vintage writing desk Cisco breached into the massive 10x10 glamping tent. He  used a dirty corner of his black sweater to rub more grime onto his glasses. “This is why I wanted to vacation in Atlantis.”

Cisco scratched the top of the sleepy otter’s head. It curled into his touch, grinning happily. “You said you wanted to go where no one can find us.”

Harry poured water into a washbasin and attacked his glasses with a hard bar of soap. “Not where no one can find our bodies, Ramon. Just where no one can find our cellphones. There’s a difference.” He rinsed his glasses in the basin then strode over the queen sized bed to dry them on the rumpled sheets.

Cisco curled a fist in Harry’s shirt, dragging him close enough to see inside the backpack. The nearly unconscious baby otter alternated between brushing it’s cheek against the Jesse Quick action figure’s hair and giving the doll’s face tiny otter kisses.

“No,” said Harry.

“What if I named him Otterson Wells?” Cisco hip-bumped Harry. “I could make him a tiny black sweater to match yours.”

“No,” said Harry.

“Yeah, baggy’s no good. This little man’s used to being sleek! I could sew him a tiny leather Vibe suit with his own little otter Vibe glasses.” He paused, head cocked in thought. “Do otters get nearsighted?”

“No,” said Harry.

“You’re right!” Cisco snapped his fingers. “I should sew a special otter pocket into my Vibe jacket so he can do ride alongs! But Otterson’s still getting his own goggles. He’ll look bitchin.”

Cisco scooped up the sleepy otter and tried to lay him on his shoulder. The otter hooked Jesse Quick’s legs under the neck of Cisco’s t-shirt and bonelessly flopped onto its belly, one arm around the doll, chin on Cisco’s collarbone, both legs gently kicking against Cisco’s shoulderblade. Cisco grinned happily and kissed its nose.

Harry cleaned his glasses for the sixteenth time since they’d returned from their 10 mile hike through the old growth forest. “Ramon. If you don’t get him home soon his clan will kill us.” He’d never seen otters with knives before, and now he never wanted to again.

Cisco and the baby otter rubbed noses. “We could take him to Atlantis with us! I could make him an otter sized trident so he can go fishing. If people ask I’ll tell them I banged Posideon’s great-great-granddaughter and this is our son.”

Harry sighed. “If you want unconditional love from a creature you can dress however you want you’d be better off getting a dog.”

The baby otter opened one eye so it could stare suspiciously at Harry.

“You said no dogs.” Cisco’s voice was carefully neutral.

“Give that baby back to its parents and I will pointedly ignore whatever dog you bring home.” Harry knew when he was beat, but still had a little fight left in him. “I’m not taking it to the park, picking up poop, or cleaning up vomit for any creature that can’t grow up to some day inherit my company.”

The baby otter’s eyes widened in shock as Cisco swooped it off his shoulder to hold the little creature up Simba-style. “Otterson! All this will be yours someday!”

“The entire tent?” Harry raised an eyebrow. “How generous.”

Cisco curled the otter back over his shoulder. It possessively wrapped its little arms around the Jesse Quick doll still stuck in Cisco’s collar. “Hey! My sweet glamping tent is big enough to fit an entire village of otters!”

Harry couldn’t protest. Cisco lined the floor of the 10x10 canvas tent with pallets topped with a roll of carpet. From Cecile’s giggles when Harry said he was going camping this weekend, he suspected she and Joe helped Cisco set up the queen sized bed and twinkling wall of battery operated fairy lights behind it. Outside was unspoilt wilderness on a scale he’d never experienced. Inside felt like he’d stolen a Quinceanera’s Indiana Jones themed backyard party tent.  

He reached for the baby otter. Cisco danced back a few steps. “What if Otterson _wants_ to come home with me?” The otter twisted Jesse Quick’s head so all three of them could stare accusingly at Harry.

“I’ll join you and the dog for one walk per week,” said Harry. “One. And if you’re busy being the designated superhero I will hire someone else to deal with the poop and vomit.”

Cisco nuzzled the otter’s nose one last time. “That’s the best offer I’m gonna get,” he whispered.

The sleepy little otter sat up on Cisco’s shoulder and stretched, accidentally punching Cisco in the ear. It awkwardly tried to free the Jesse Quick doll from where her legs were tucked into Cisco’s collar.

“Are you sure we can’t keep him, Harry?” Sure, all the tugging nearly choked him, but this was too damn cute to make him mad.

Harry braced his fists on his hips. “No.”

“Ow!” Cisco’s hand flew to his neck. The baby otter had given up on trying to free his doll from Cisco’s shirt in favor of using his little claws to rip through the fabric. Three narrow gashes stretched from just under Cisco’s ear, down his neck, and over his collarbone. “Not cool, little dude!”

The otter wrapped his arms around his prize and somehow artfully tumbled down Cisco’s body, landing gracefully on his feet with the doll still clutched in his arms. He paused by the tent flap and waved.

Harry strode over and opened it for him.  

A hundred armed otters waited silently outside, hungrily staring at the tent. “Ramon.” Harry’s voice was suspiciously level.

“I’m on it.” Cisco hauled a heavy wood crate from under the bed and dragged it to the tent flap.

“What the hell is in there?” asked Harry.

“Don’t ask questions if you don’t want to know the answers.”

The baby otter scampered up onto the crate. He ran around in tight, excited circles, only pausing to aim Jesse Quick’s head in new directions and chirp enthusiastically as though introducing her to all his friends.

Cisco stopped 10 paces from the otter’s front line and sat the crate down with a heavy thump. “Thank you for letting me babysit, Mrs. Devourer of Butterflies.”

The baby otter poked Cisco's leg and chirped a correction. 

"Sorry." Cisco tried to straighten his shirt but only ripped it further. "Mrs. Devourer of Monarchs." 

A lone female otter crossed the divide. She climbed onto the crate, grabbed a lock of Cisco’s hair and pulled him close enough to lick the blood off his neck. He swallowed hard. She pried one of the baby otter’s paws off his new doll long enough to lap up a little blood. As soon as she had a taste his arms went right back around his toy. She made hard eye contact with Cisco, then nodded once.

One hundred and one otters watched Cisco slowly fumble his way backwards until he reached the tent. Once the door flap was closed and zipped they heard the nose of a heavy wooden lid being pried open. A ragged chorus of high pitched chirping cheers echoed from the river bank.

Harry waited on the bed. “That’s a hell of a lot of effort just to get a dog.” He pat the mattress.

Cisco sat down and watched patiently while Harry disinfected the scratches, ran a line of neosporin over them, and taped down a long strip of gauze. “Admit it - I look like Captain Kirk after fighting a Gorn.”

“Get used to it. Puppies are like living shredders that eat shoes and poop everywhere.” He ran a thumb over the other side of Cisco’s neck. “Your skin’s never going to be this smooth again.”

Cisco blushed. “Better enjoy it now, then. Because when we get home you’re helping me pick out Barkinson Wells.”

Harry’s thumb stopped in place. “Your not naming your dog after me.”

Cisco scoffed. “How else can I artificially force you to bond with it?”

“This isn’t a discussion, Ramon.”

The air erupted with a chorus of tiny cheers. Something wet and organic was happening just outside the tent. Cisco’s eyes widened. “Nope,” he said. “It’s a retreat.”

He grabbed his backpack and luggage. As he opened a breach, he heard the roar of a bear followed by a low wet gurgle from outside the tent. Harry snatched his single weathered army backpack and slid through the breach as the gurgle was smothered in chittering giggles. The sudden silence echoed.

Harry took a deep breath to get his bearings and instantly regretted it.

“Seriously, Ramon?”

The breach emptied them into the Central City Animal Shelter’s men’s room.

“The only way out is through that door.” Cisco pointed around the smelly, windowless cell. Harry pulled a paper towel from the dispenser and cleaned his glasses again. “Now come on, Harry!” Cisco looped an arm through his and opened the door. “Let’s go meet Barkinson!”

  
  



End file.
